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Post by London Canucks on Feb 18, 2023 14:04:08 GMT -5
Breaking news out of the Garden State this morning as The New Jersey Haze have been sold and are moving north of the border to the sports crazy southern Ontario city of London. The team will be renamed The London Canucks with games being played in Budweiser Gardens for hockey and basketball, TD Waterhouse Stadium for the football and in the worlds longest continually operating baseball grounds, Labatt Park. (actually true and is in The Guinness World Book of Records).
Haze owner Mr. Jeff wanted to thank the fine folks of New Jersey for their support over the years with new owner Scott Turner stressing it was nothing personal when deciding to move the team, but that "damn logo" was bringing people down and putting a real scare into kids and old folks alike. Turner declined comment when asked if he was the one who was actually scared and quickly diverted the medias glare by yelling "nice beaver" which much to their dismay, was actually Canada's favourite (Canadian spelling) rodent wading into a nearby lake.
Turner has revealed that fellow Canadian's Drake, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and The Biebs all have a financial interest in the franchise and Pamela Anderson has agreed to work for free as a spokes model and member of the board. (the sex tape thing could be an issue at some point)
Pending league approval this move will be official as of today at 2 pm.
Go Canucks Go
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Post by St. Louis Sting on Feb 19, 2023 16:20:12 GMT -5
After extensive due diligence conversations with the new ownership group, local government, and stadium authorities the league office has approved the majority of the relocation plan for the former New Jersey Haze franchise to London, Ontario. While New Jersey was home to significant success early in the league's history there has been a notable decrease in fan enthusiasm and we believe that London will offer new opportunities to include an entire new country in 4-Sport fandom.
The only aspect of the plan that is not approved is the hiring of Pam Anderson as a figurehead for the team. In order to appeal to the next generation of fans, the league office requests that a model under the age of 30 be selected in her place.
The necessary updates will be made as time permits, and we look forward to seeing what Canada has to offer!
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